Look, I’m not going to say that Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is a good movie. It really isn’t. What many people don’t realize is that the movie knows this. That’s what makes it so much fun. Seriously. There’s a bit where they’ve tied missing children ads to milk bottles. It’s not even trying to be realistic. The basic plot is as follows: Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) are siblings hell-bent on eradicating the witches that terrorize the good village folk and take their children. Of course they’re trying to take out this big witch gathering. You’ve got to raise the stakes, right? Right. Anyway! There are a few obvious plot twists and a female character added to be a love interest for Hansel since the audience might think something untoward was going on between the siblings.
Now, I’ve gone on record as saying that the accidental (at least I’m assuming it’s accidental) sexual tension between Hansel and Gretel adds some more emotional depth to a film that otherwise relies on tired tropes and well-choreographed fight scenes. I’m not saying that it adds a lot of emotional depth, but it certainly does add a little something special to the movie. Just remember, at the end of the day, all the two of them really have is each other. Think about that when you sit down to watch it.