It’s a haircut that has been worn by many and mocked by many more. The mullet is a hairstyle that was popular in the 1980’s and 1990’s. It was worn by country singers and pop singers alike. It was also favored by action stars. Thankfully, it went out of fashion. For the fun of it, I , with some help from friends (notably Micah Pearson), have compiled a list of fictional people who get a pass for their use of mullets. I have arbitrarily ranked them because it’s my site and I’ll do what I want.
11. Captain Planet (from “Captain Planet and the Planeteers“)
I grew up in the 90’s and one of my favorite shows was “Captain Planet and the Planeteers.” I mean, seriously, he was an environmentally conscious hero. What’s not to love? His theme song was catchy and the Planeteers was an ethnically diverse group of teens. Any guy who can clean up the world gets a pass when it comes to whatever hairstyle he chooses to wear.
10. Nada (from They Live)
He’s here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. . .and he’s all out of bubble gum. Yeah, folks, that’s where the line comes from. John Carpenter’s anti-authority classic had an unlikely hero and has become a cult favorite. Needless to say, not including Nada would be a travesty.
9. Dalton (from Road House)
While most people remember Patrick Swayze from his roles in Dirty Dancing, Ghost, and To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar, many should know that he once wore the mullet of a true action hero. In fact, Googling Swayze will pull up all sorts of mullet-tastic pictures. Somehow, he made it look good, and he kicked ass as Dalton while sporting one. So, there you go.
8. Ziggy Stardust
Throughout his career, David Bowie has been a man of many styles and the mullet he had as Ziggy wasn’t his only mullet. He had one as Jareth, the Goblin King, in Labyrinth if you were able to drag your gaze away from his pants long enough to notice. Don’t lie. I know where you were looking. While that might have been a classic role with an awesome haircut, the Ziggy Stardust look with accompanying mullet was iconic.
After he took First Blood, Sylvester Stallone‘s Rambo was a man of mullets. In fact, his mullet now has its own Twitter account. That’s the level of mullet we’re talking here. You have to admit that it is a thing of beauty. If that’s what you’re into.
6. He-Man (as played by Dolph Lundgren in Masters of the Universe)
Oh man. Any guy who looks like that and shamelessly walks around shirtless is more than welcome to have any kind of hairstyle he likes. It also helps that the movie’s great (don’t mock me, it’s totally fantastic). Okay. It helps that the movie is so bad it’s good. I’m bummed it never had a sequel. I wonder if he’d have kept the mullet. It might have been more epic in a sequel.
5. Snake Plissken (from the Escape from. . . franchise)/Jack Burton (from Big Trouble in Little China)
It would have been unfair to count these awesome mullets sported by Kurt Russell separately on this list. So, they get a tie. Both characters are badass enough to pull it off. Jack even pulls it off while wearing bright red lipstick. That’s quite a look there. Besides, any guy who’s a sort of savior can choose whatever style fits him best. I don’t think anyone’s going to give them shit for it.
4. Red Sonja (as played by Brigitte Nielsen in Red Sonja)
The only woman to make it onto this list because women are generally too sensible for such things as mullets, Red Sonja gets ranked this highly because she’s awesome. Seriously. Who doesn’t love Red Sonja? Of course she has a mullet for sword-fighting purposes. Of course no one is going to question this. Of course we’re still going to find her super-hot with a mullet. End of story.
3. MacGyver (from “MacGyver“)
The man, the legend, the mullet. Anyone whose name has since become a verb deserves respect even if he’s got a ridiculous mullet. We’ll let it pass because he can stop a nuclear blast with tin foil and chewing gum. Or was it chocolate? Anyway! He was an awesome guy with questionable taste in hairstyles. He was honorable and brilliant. That’s all you need to know.
2. David (from The Lost Boys)
David was a bleached blond vampire before it was cool. He was temptation incarnate in that leather jacket with his hedonistic ways and wicked smile. I’m pretty sure there were a lot of girls who’d have been hard-pressed to deny him anything. I mean, come on, he even makes a mullet look good. Who does that? Seriously.
1. Aquaman (from “Justice League“)
Aquaman never gets enough respect. He’s mocked frequently for being what many would consider useless. It wasn’t until I saw him on “Justice League” and watched as he cut his own hand off to save his infant son that I realized that he’d be a king I’d gladly follow. For this, he gets the number one spot on my list of Permissible Mullets. He deserves more credit than he ever gets and he’s totally my king of the sea.
Ash from “Supernatural“
Chance Boudreaux in Hard Target
Robin Hood from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Uncle Jesse from “Full House“